I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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