You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
