The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
