She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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