I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
