i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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