Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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