Are we in a gay sports bar?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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