One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
