I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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