I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
