we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
