yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize