Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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