i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
