I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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