if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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