and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize