Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
