Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
