If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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