I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
