We're facebook friends in real life
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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