hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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