yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
