How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
