There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
