just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
