last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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