anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
