O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
