so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we should paint friendship bongs
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