Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize