Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
