do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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