Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
