So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Terrible idea I love it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
