Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
