when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You pole danced in your parka.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
