Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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