Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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