I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
