I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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