I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
