I didn't shave. On purpose
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize
