Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
