What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
