My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
