I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
