I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
