It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize