"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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