my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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