She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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