woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
