4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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