just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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