Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
