i permit you to call me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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