We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize