Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
