I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
