i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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