if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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