Your tits are I can't wait for
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize