better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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