what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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